I've been at another low spot. Some of it is simply being the mother of three kids under 6. Motherhood is hard, no matter what time or place you live. But it's compounded by living in a place where we don't have family, where the language, food, culture, transportation, tacka tacka tacka (blah blah blah in Spanish. Yeah, there is a translation for blah blah blah!) are all different.
The night before Easter was bad folks. Like as in I told Noah I was this close to driving to the airport and getting on a plane bad. Not for a permanent move. No, more of a respite or vacation or I don't know, but it seemed like any place but here would be better. Some of it was sleep deprivation, Quinn at almost 10 months old still isn't sleeping through the night. Some of it hormones, but a lot of it was real weariness.
Things looked better in the morning (sorta) and off we went to church. That morning our pastor talked about the Resurrection and the part that hit me like a ton of bricks was when he said, "Mary Magdalen didn't realize Jesus was standing right behind her. She was too worked up about the fact that his body was gone. And maybe that's you. God is right there next to you, you may not see Him, but He is." Hummmm.
The next day I talked with a friend who is on her way to Spain. She told me something similar, "Liz, God is fighting for you. You may not feel it, but He is." Hummmm.
Later that day, this verse popped into my head.
credit: Sweet Blessings
To put this verse in context, this is what Moses told the Hebrews when Pharaoh's army was barreling down on them after they left Egypt. I love how real the Bible words it all. Here it is, from Exodus 14:
"They said to Moses, “Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt? 12 Is not this what we said to you in Egypt: ‘Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians’? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness.”Ha!! I love the part, "Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you brought us out here to DIE?!" Mooosseessssss!!" Yeah, I can just imagine the whining and weeping and gnashing of teeth. And terror, really, pure terror of the entire Egyptian army coming after them.
And this is Moses' response:
13 And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. 14 The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”
Man. So the story goes on and you know how God parted the Red Sea, allowing all the Hebrews through and then the Egyptians went down into the path between the waters. At this point the Bible says God " brought the army of the Egyptians into confusion." Their wheels got all wonky, they couldn't drive their chariots correctly, all sorts of crazy things. And get this!! This is what the Egyptians said:
“Let us flee from before Israel, for the Lord fights for them against the Egyptians.”
Yep, the Egyptians even saw it. The Lord was fighting for the Hebrews. Wow.
Ok, so I know I am not one of the Hebrews, but God is fighting for His kids. So God was working this all out in me, and last Wednesday we got an email from a supporter. They asked how things were and if my parents had been able to visit yet. They haven't, and because of money, we really didn't know when they were going to come. I have a brother in college right now, and a sister in high school, and well, money is just tight. But these supporters emailed back and said, "We want to provide two tickets for your parents to come visit, sometime at the end of April or beginning of May."
Ummm, WHAT?! The Lord is fighting for us. We only need to be still. We had been praying about this for so long, our middle son has been struggling with missing these particular grandparents terribly, and we had no idea how this was going to happen. In fact, my mom had been praying that they could come visit by June. How's that for a specific answer?
So, in just about 17 days, both my parents are coming. My dad can stay for 9 days, and my mom will stay 18 in total! My littlest sister will stay with my other sister and her husband and well, God has worked all the details out, He's been fighting for me, even though I haven't felt it because I was too worked up about the fact that things were so hard. I am grateful He is and absolutely over the moon about the fact my parents will be here so soon!
Thanks for sharing, Liz. I think it is important to be open with people about where you're at. And I continue to praise God for making a way for your parents to come!
ReplyDeleteYou know that transitions are tough, and going through cultural adjustments on top of that just exaggerate it all. But it's true. God is with you and he is fighting your battles and taking care of you.
Have you ever heard of going through culture shock explained as a grieving process? I know it helps me to think of it that way. It is ok to miss things, people, ways of life, broad roads, English everywhere, etc.
No matter where you go, God is with you and loving you. You know that he has brought you here, and will fulfill his purposes for doing so. Continue to rest and trust in his love, care and provision. And know it's ok to grieve too!
amazing. continuing to pray for you.
ReplyDeleteThanks!!! We need all the prayers we can get! :)
DeleteI also think it is good to share. It's good to know you are a REAL person,aren't we all but we don't always put that out in the open. I am so glad your parents are coming. I know what that would mean to me!!!
ReplyDeleteyep Cindy! It is good to be open. I am afraid so often I don't because of my selfish pride. Stupid, I know. And I should know better :)
DeleteThanks for sharing your struggle Liz. What a wonderful testimony that God is always fighting for the best for his kids, even when we don't see or feel it. I'm so excited that your parents are coming! My grandma went just to Florida every year and I missed her so incredibly much when I was a kid. I can relate to what Elliot must be feeling and I'm so glad that God made a way!
ReplyDeletePraying for you! I've actually been thinking a lot about you. I get so tired raising three kids here...makes me pray that much harder for you - thinking through doing what I do, only add in a different culture and language! Thanks for sharing! Glad we share the same victorious Savior!
ReplyDeleteThanks Amber! I read your post today and thought about how we were fighting some of the same things, lack of sleep being one! Prayed for you today too lady!
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ReplyDeleteHi, you don't know me but I found your blog and have been reading it for many months now. I've been currious to glimpse how you have dealt with the culture shock as a woman. My parents were missionaries to Brazil back in the early 70s and it was a terrible shock to my mother. She has been in Brazil for more than 41 years now, even though my father passed away 20 years ago. My dad had culture shock as well, but it was much easier for him to deal with than it was for my mother. I'm sure that getting out and doing things with the church helped him in that. I grew up speaking two languages and felt quite at ease in either Brazil or USA. But when I went to live in the USA 25 years ago I was able to blend in and yet felt so very out of place. I had culture shock despite being able to blend into the crowd for the most part. While you are 100% american, your boys will be third-culture kids as I am. They will not be 100% american, nor with they be 100% ticos. They will be a blend, a mixture, part of this, part of that. God loves us as we are. (being a 3rd culture kid has been very helpful to me in my profession) He made us and knows our most intimate thoughts, longings and desires. He hasn't ever forgotten you nor will He EVER forgot you. Teach His word to those you come in contact with and remember that Jesus died for them all, even if they speak, act, think in different manners than the folks you grew up with did. God bless you as you serve him and carry on in His path for you.
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