I Eat Boxed Stuffing

I think somewhere along the line, you have only got the best of us.  You know, the meals made with basic ingredients, the thrifted furniture that looks amazing, the creativity of my kids, my best ideas.  It's not often that you see  the more everydayness of our home.  Like that most days, the floor is covered with a fine layer of cheerios, broken crayons, and random plastic animals.  Or like today, when the laundry is, and there is no other way to put this, reaching it's long tentacles over the entire house and smothering us with its shear volume.  Is there even a creative way to take a photo of that lovely image?

This is because of a couple of things. One,  I don't know how many of you want to hear about the laundry overtaking us.  Really.  It's not something I get excited about, and so I don't think to share it. Two, I am trying my best to take care of the situation, so I don't have time to tell you and  Three, which is probably the biggest reason, it's a pride thing.  Do I really want all of the internet to see my laundry killing me?  No, not really.  That would mean that I stink at my job.  And that's not a fun thing to share.

But as I was eating my boxed stuffing for a snack the other night (what?  You don't eat stuffing for a snack?  What is wrong with you people?!) I thought how maybe it wasn't good for everyone else to not know that I  serve my kids mac and cheese from a box,  that my bathrooms and floors are more often than not, well, just plain gross.

If you only ever see the best I have to offer, you won't see how very real God's strength is in my life.  I fall short.  A lot.  I am not always the sort of mom I want to be for my kids.  I am not always the sort of wife my husband needs either.  And there are days when I am a lousy friend, daughter, sister, and worker.  That's the simple truth of it.  And when I pretend differently, it puts me in a really bad place.  Because then I work harder to try and hid the fact that I am a loser.  And the fact of the matter is, we are all losers.  We all fall short in every sort of way everyday.  That is a given.  And if I am resting on what others think of me and my spotless house and perfect kids and fantastic projects, then I am going to be a constant ball of mess and anxiety, because at some point, that facade is going to come crashing down.  No matter how hard I work at it.

But, if instead, I freely admit that I can't do it all, and that the only good I have is what has come from God, well, then, there is freedom in that.  That was the case when Christ loved me enough to die for me. He is patient and kind towards me and my mess of a life.  And He sees me as I will be someday, grown up into the woman that He created me to be.

If I am constantly trying to hide the messy parts of my life and think "well, if I just work harder at this, I would be better,"  that doesn't leave room for the Holy Spirit in my life.  But if instead I cooperate with the Holy Spirit's work in my life, He will change me.  After all, it's the Fruit of the Spirit, not the fruit of Liz that is important.

So.  We eat boxed food.  Sometimes.  And sometimes my floors need some attention, and sometimes my kids need more attention than I give them.  And every single day I fall short of the mark.  But God is working on me every single day too.   He loves me now, and He loves me enough to grow me into the woman He made me to be. Who probably will still have messy floors in this life, but who will hopefully be more like her Savior too.